I want some peace of mind
I do. I desperately do...
Yesterday, a friend of mine was saying "You think too much". True. Very true and I am tired of thinking. I have so many things in mind to handle that I just can't focus anymore. Or perhaps I could but for a very short while then confusion takes over the control. Sometimes we get a bunch of things to prioritize and somehow they all seem equally important...That's when the brain gets tired.
The only time, I actually don't think is when I am with my friends or just surrounded by people. I melt in the crowds and pretend I am fine.
Surely I am fine until I am alone and have to think again.
Sometimes, I would like to seek some friend's advice. Or just seek a friendly ear. But I am too proud to ask. Or I would ask but never really reveal what troubeling me is. That's when tears come handy. They are the silent words I couldn't voice out. I let then run in tears. When I cry, I don't cry because I feel bad or weak. I cry words that cannot come out.
I just wish I could control my worries. i sometimes hope I could be brainless or thoughtless to stop considering every detail.
Anyway, I just need some peace of mind. So, I go play darts when I don't want to think. May be I should have a darts board on my screen. I am just kidding.
My point is that the only time I don't really think at all is when I play. I care less about winning or losing though I am good at rising the challenges. I just wish I could deal in the same way with my problems. Why can't I care less...
Perhaps, because they matter.
We can rematch a game but we can't really rematch one's life.
Well, at least I am now glad that if I think too much, it is perhaps that what I am thinking about really matters...In a positive way, it is good to have more than one thing to worry/care about....
Ok. I gotta stop now. I feel pain everywhere. It was snowing yesterday and my bike slipped and my whole body hit the ground. It was so funny when it happened. I always take shocking news with humor...However the following morning, things're not really funny anymore for the pain resurrects or persists. I would handle the pain but because my brain never stops thinking, the pain seems exponential...Well, surely, our nerves are connected :). What was I thinking!
It's good to write out on this blog. I feel somne peace of mind now.
Thanks for reading or for stopping by.
A+
Yesterday, a friend of mine was saying "You think too much". True. Very true and I am tired of thinking. I have so many things in mind to handle that I just can't focus anymore. Or perhaps I could but for a very short while then confusion takes over the control. Sometimes we get a bunch of things to prioritize and somehow they all seem equally important...That's when the brain gets tired.
The only time, I actually don't think is when I am with my friends or just surrounded by people. I melt in the crowds and pretend I am fine.
Surely I am fine until I am alone and have to think again.
Sometimes, I would like to seek some friend's advice. Or just seek a friendly ear. But I am too proud to ask. Or I would ask but never really reveal what troubeling me is. That's when tears come handy. They are the silent words I couldn't voice out. I let then run in tears. When I cry, I don't cry because I feel bad or weak. I cry words that cannot come out.
I just wish I could control my worries. i sometimes hope I could be brainless or thoughtless to stop considering every detail.
Anyway, I just need some peace of mind. So, I go play darts when I don't want to think. May be I should have a darts board on my screen. I am just kidding.
My point is that the only time I don't really think at all is when I play. I care less about winning or losing though I am good at rising the challenges. I just wish I could deal in the same way with my problems. Why can't I care less...
Perhaps, because they matter.
We can rematch a game but we can't really rematch one's life.
Well, at least I am now glad that if I think too much, it is perhaps that what I am thinking about really matters...In a positive way, it is good to have more than one thing to worry/care about....
Ok. I gotta stop now. I feel pain everywhere. It was snowing yesterday and my bike slipped and my whole body hit the ground. It was so funny when it happened. I always take shocking news with humor...However the following morning, things're not really funny anymore for the pain resurrects or persists. I would handle the pain but because my brain never stops thinking, the pain seems exponential...Well, surely, our nerves are connected :). What was I thinking!
It's good to write out on this blog. I feel somne peace of mind now.
Thanks for reading or for stopping by.
A+
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