kins come first
When I lost my dad, I realised that the most valuable thing in living life is to share it with those we endear the most.
That was like a turning point in my life cause it somehow messed up all my plans...
Now, I don't plan..I just live each day as it comes. trying to figure it out bit by bit.
Perhaps not the best approach there is. But it suits my current situation.
That led me to change my attitude towards life. Obviously.
So, one day, in May, my cancer-ed Japanese mother invited me to spend the whole Sunday with her. To my misfortune, an influential figure on my current life status aka My PhD Advisor has asked me to meet and discuss on Sunday. My mom's RDV was settled weeks earlier. His invitation was Saturday, the eve of the infamous Sunday. Advisers are Gods in the land of the PhD world.
Or so they think, and we are recommended to think so, otherwise, complications might occur.
To avoid.
Hence, my Influential figure request was plainly a form of polite order in disguise.
Badly, I am still living according to my turning point. so I said, I can't on Sunday. I have promised to visit my Mom. She is sick. I don't know when I might lose her.
That was quite a shock to my Almighty. Of course, due to the excuse, he could not but accept my apology. However, for the following months, thus until August, He made me pay the price of my audacious rebellion, or shall I say the price of my non obedience. That came to end, when in August I learnt that I lost my mamachan. As much as it hurt me, as much as I felt grateful I made it that Sunday. Because, it was the last time I ever saw her. Before I saw her again lifeless this time, lying in her goodbye bed...
I was grateful to my decision to prioritize meeting her over...my Carrier.
We live everyday but we die one day.
Does it sound the other way around in the Deadland? Do they perceive the existence as: We are dead everyday and we lived one day...Notice, I couldn't say "we die everyday", I couldn't conjugate live in the present either.
Quite interesting. But I can't explain it.
Anyway, that was hors-sujet.
Back to my point. My turning point :).
Life or Death or God has its unique ways to surprise us. I explain. If it is life that is doing so, it has its way to bring unexpected events. If it's Death, it has its ways to haunt us and if it is God, He has his secret wisdom to trigger life and death processes....
So, four months after my mamachan has passed away, my papachan, her husband, gets cancer too. He calls me and lets me know.
Me: blunt.
Nonetheless, I know that as long as I got time, I am so spending it with him. I'll share whatever billions of seconds left for both of us to live, together. For, once a kin or a friend is gone....billions of things one wished to say or do surface afterwards....Sometimes that is a virtual torture.
Do it while you can!
Be there for your friends, if not for them, for yourself.
Annoy your friends with your love for they might go or you might go as well.
Someone has to watch time from above. someone has to see the whole picture.
So when you get involved in the details, let a good friend guide you to that whole picture. When you drawn in the general frame and you seem to miss the details, let a good friend navigate you through them.
One might feel bothered..but it is worth the try.
I never regretted having said I can't come this Sunday, though it bothered me soooo much that I couldn't.
That was like a turning point in my life cause it somehow messed up all my plans...
Now, I don't plan..I just live each day as it comes. trying to figure it out bit by bit.
Perhaps not the best approach there is. But it suits my current situation.
That led me to change my attitude towards life. Obviously.
So, one day, in May, my cancer-ed Japanese mother invited me to spend the whole Sunday with her. To my misfortune, an influential figure on my current life status aka My PhD Advisor has asked me to meet and discuss on Sunday. My mom's RDV was settled weeks earlier. His invitation was Saturday, the eve of the infamous Sunday. Advisers are Gods in the land of the PhD world.
Or so they think, and we are recommended to think so, otherwise, complications might occur.
To avoid.
Hence, my Influential figure request was plainly a form of polite order in disguise.
Badly, I am still living according to my turning point. so I said, I can't on Sunday. I have promised to visit my Mom. She is sick. I don't know when I might lose her.
That was quite a shock to my Almighty. Of course, due to the excuse, he could not but accept my apology. However, for the following months, thus until August, He made me pay the price of my audacious rebellion, or shall I say the price of my non obedience. That came to end, when in August I learnt that I lost my mamachan. As much as it hurt me, as much as I felt grateful I made it that Sunday. Because, it was the last time I ever saw her. Before I saw her again lifeless this time, lying in her goodbye bed...
I was grateful to my decision to prioritize meeting her over...my Carrier.
We live everyday but we die one day.
Does it sound the other way around in the Deadland? Do they perceive the existence as: We are dead everyday and we lived one day...Notice, I couldn't say "we die everyday", I couldn't conjugate live in the present either.
Quite interesting. But I can't explain it.
Anyway, that was hors-sujet.
Back to my point. My turning point :).
Life or Death or God has its unique ways to surprise us. I explain. If it is life that is doing so, it has its way to bring unexpected events. If it's Death, it has its ways to haunt us and if it is God, He has his secret wisdom to trigger life and death processes....
So, four months after my mamachan has passed away, my papachan, her husband, gets cancer too. He calls me and lets me know.
Me: blunt.
Nonetheless, I know that as long as I got time, I am so spending it with him. I'll share whatever billions of seconds left for both of us to live, together. For, once a kin or a friend is gone....billions of things one wished to say or do surface afterwards....Sometimes that is a virtual torture.
Do it while you can!
Be there for your friends, if not for them, for yourself.
Annoy your friends with your love for they might go or you might go as well.
Someone has to watch time from above. someone has to see the whole picture.
So when you get involved in the details, let a good friend guide you to that whole picture. When you drawn in the general frame and you seem to miss the details, let a good friend navigate you through them.
One might feel bothered..but it is worth the try.
I never regretted having said I can't come this Sunday, though it bothered me soooo much that I couldn't.
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