Gaijin in Nihon

Almost lost it

2011-05-29T17:20:00.003+09:00

Ooof, today, donno why, I was checking my blog that I've deserted since I moved to .... Desertland -___- And to my surprise, I've been told, it was "deleted". O_O

Naturally, I freaked out and started looking for an answer to its disappearance. ?_?

(...) Bottom line, I learnt that it was about to get extinct if I don't update it!!!!
So here I am saving the life of my beloved friend, My Blog; doing some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation !
I hope it works and this gets me back on my blogfeet!

Hurray, am back in the game baby :D

gaijin.outta.nihon

2008-10-12T19:49:00.002+09:00

I just left Nihon.

I don't feel anything yet...

Must be the jet lag

:)

We'll see.

Anyways, it was a nice experience with its joy and bitterness. I'm glad I was a gaijin in nihon for half a dozen years ... Today, as I reach home, I might be a gaijin.at.home for a while before I fly to a new gaijin land.

Mmm, may be I am simply a gaijin.on.earth, tout court!

Aren't we all....after all...

No one truly belongs here. It is a stand-by state before one lands either right or left...The middle isn't!

2008-10-12T19:45:00.002+09:00

I'll take the rain, R.E.M

Mission Accomplished

2008-09-26T01:37:00.002+09:00

Few months a go I set a challenge to accomplish and wrote about it under this thread: Two months to die

I am proud today to say : " STOP CHRONO ". Mission Accomplished!

Will write more about it when time allows. gotta go to sleep now, am racing the minutes...
am glad that everything in life has an end...!

Hamdullah!

motto du moment

2008-09-26T01:32:00.001+09:00

- You don't find Time for important things, you make it! - Prof. Randy Pausch

- Si on veut, on peut!

- Do it while you can!

- If you really want something, you get it!

with a little help from good friends

2008-08-26T20:07:00.001+09:00

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
with a little help from my friends...

Honesty, communication and friendship

2008-08-26T17:48:00.001+09:00

(...)I guess, in the end, it is all, a matter of maturity and a willing to trust!!!. I came to realize that none comes with time. Maturity is a byproduct of experience and perhaps that could be related to time... Willing to trust however, comes from within, regardless of time, though it is built and maintained over time...

Thesis Acknowledgments

2008-07-15T18:04:00.002+09:00

The work in this thesis is dedicated to the memory of my loving father H.A (1944-2003)

Acknowledgment

Foremost, I would like to thank my supervisor, Professor Y.O who has been of a great intellectual support. He shared with me a lot of his expertise and research insight. He gave me of his time and helped me go through the hard way with constant encouragement and influential discussions. I am deeply grateful to his valuable guidance and directives. Simply, I am ever indebted to his believing in me and constantly pushing me to give the best of me.

Also, I cannot but express my sincere gratitude to Professor Y.K who has been my first significant figure in Japan. His thoughtful advice often served to give me a sense of direction during my PhD studies. I admire his bright wisdom and his distinguished character. My solemn high esteem to the eminent scholar he is.

I would also like to show my genuine appreciation to the other members of my PhD committee who monitored my work and took effort in reading and providing me with valuable comments on earlier versions of this thesis: Professor H.Y, Professor S.Y and Professor U.Y. I thank you all.

I am very thankful as well, to the Ministry of Education, Science, Sports and Culture, Government of Japan (Monbukagakusho) for granting me a scholarship to pursue my studies in their good country, allowing me thus, to live one of the most prominent experiences of my life.

I also would like to thank my colleagues and lab mates for their support and positive input, in particular Mr. M.I whose cheerful attitude gave me lots of encouragement; Mr. S.I, Mr. M.Y, Mr. N.U, Mr. K.T and Mr. Y.M for their tremendous contribution with the simulations; and Jean Marc for his valuable comments and insightful discussions during our seminars and presentations. I expand my thanks to all the staff in our university for their assistance and kindness.

I am tempted to individually thank all of my friends but as the list might be long and for fear I might omit someone, I will simply and genuinely say: Thank you to you all for your love, care and trust. In particular I would like to cite: Souhir.H, Inga.M, Mattias.W for their constant presence and care and instant moral support.

I owe much to my dearest neighbors Hagane-san, Sakai-san and Virginia C. Their love and bighearted manners provided me with a home like home in the last two years.

Eventually, I deeply thank my Family: uncles, aunts and cousins for believing in me and for being proud of me. Words cannot express the love and gratitude I have for my sisters, Manel and Imen. Most importantly, I would like to thank and dedicate this work to my loving mother who is the angel that constantly watches over my head and whose simple voice gives me the necessary strength to hold on and persevere. Last but not least, I also wish to dedicate this to my late host parents Mr. and Ms. Yamada.

I cannot finish without acknowledging how eternally grateful and thankful I am to The One, The Everlasting, The All Determiner , The Trustee, The Dependable and The Protecting Friend that guides me, teaches me to be patient and to never give up. Thank you Dear Lord!

when a frog meets a cat

2008-07-10T00:04:00.003+09:00

what do you think is gonna happen?
We'll see...

The cat is highly motivated and a schemer..the frog just likes to jump. jump around, over, on ..whatever...and make noise when it rains.
so the cat is trying to catch the frog who is trying to jump the cat.

A mouse's passing by...it is attracting the cat but still the cat is turning around the frog...May be the cat wants a rat.

As of the frog...he needs a princess to turn him into the Prince, he is supposed to be..or at least, could be..if he stops trying to mess around with cats or alike frogs.

The princess, however is watching the cat-frog games and wonders whether she should whisper her magic words to undo the spell or walk away to meet a prince who isn't in disguise.

Something is holding her back...Her faith in Good.

a Tunisian Tale for Children ...

2008-07-04T16:23:00.001+09:00

Once a quick-witted man lived in Tunisia. His name was Juha.
Juha was a merchant and sold traditional men's caps made from red felt and wool and decorated with a tassel. They are also called _Shashiya_. He bought them up on the market and sold them in villages.
Once he dropped with fatigue near a hill and fell asleep. And the hill was inhabited by monkeys. The monkeys saw the baskets and carried away all the shashiyas.
When Juha woke up, an amazing view saluted him. There were monkeys with shashiyas on their heads everywhere - on the ground, on the trees, around him. He begged them to give him his goods back, cried at them, tried to take the shashiyas from them, but everything was in vain. The monkeys would run away, make a mouth at him and mimic his gestures.
Hot with rage,Juha threw his shashiya on the ground and the monkeys did the same. Now all the shashiyas were lying on the ground and he only had to pick them up.

Juha remembered very well how he managed to make fool of the cunning monkeys. Very soon he used this method again, in a different situation.
Juha had a donkey. Once somebody stole the donkey just from the pasture. He immediately set out in search of it, crying loudly,
"Oh, people! Give me my donkey back or I will do as my father did!!! I don't want to do this, but I don't want to stay without a donkey!"
The thieves were frightened, gave him his donkey back and asked him, "
"What did your father do?"
"He bought another donkey," said Juha.

:)

exchanging glances

2008-06-26T09:39:00.002+09:00

The expression of his eyes has changed.
where she used to see arrogance, she now sees intimidation.
When their eyes share a connection, some light bursts from his pupil and he can't stare for a long while.
She, however, is blinded by the lightening.
She smiles away as she hears his heart beat.
His soft blue-sky-in-a-sunny-day eyes are a safe cloud she likes to land on when it winds or rains.
His intimidation humbles her and warms her being.
She dares to see through his blue sky while he gets rooted in her grounded earthy eyes.

Now here she tells about her grounds.
they have a special green grass that reflects the light straight into her pupil and she can't stare.
She is intimidated.
When the other smiles, his eyes are reduced to their best: a ray of shining light that enlightens every corner in her heart and she feels her inside uncovered. she barely swallows cause she feels he can see her oesophagus...and either closes her eyes or turns away. Sometimes she dares to look into the shining sun, while she gets blinded, he gets a connection to his soul that scares him away and he stops smiling cutting his ray of light away. oof, peace now. and they replay the same eye game each time their souls feel the need to communicate.

Effacer

2008-06-20T02:25:00.003+09:00

Depuis que la touche Supprimer sur le clavier a remplace la gomme sur la feuille, je n'ai pas vraiment gomme depuis des siecles...
et aujourd'hui, j'ai du effacer tout un livre...avec une gomme...Quelle torture....

It has been a decade now since I used an eraser...With the keyboard and the screen, who still uses a pen and a paper...Of course, I am being sarcastic here and thank God there still are good people there using the traditional and eternal means of communication.
But this is not the subject of my thread.
I want to talk about the delete button on the screen. How useful, easy and FAST it is!!!! combining CTRL+A and delete you can make a 1000-page book disappear in a blick of an eye. But, today, I had to spend God knows how many minutes to erase crayon writing in a book. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.....how I missed the delete button then. How I wished I could process that task with a robot or something.
Bon, je m arrete la et je vais reprendre ma tache monotone. Ma seule motivation est le bien qui se produira une fois j'ai termine d'effacer l'ecriture pour que je puisse faire des copies afin de rendre l'utilisation du livre utile de nouveau....
okidoki
A+

I'm not sorry

2008-06-15T12:28:00.002+09:00

..."it's human nature"....
"express yourself"...but...
"don't repress yourself" and DON'T YOU repress others ;)

..."did I say something true"??
or did I say something wrong...

Oops...did I just express my point of view???
Oh, didn't know we couldn't talk about you...

euh, just listen :)

(these are not the lyrics)just my adaptation (using some parts of the lyrics) to illustrate the thread :)
...don't try to understand, I am making "no sense" ..

Ouf!!!

2008-06-11T22:48:00.003+09:00

Ce n'est pas vraiment un truc de ouf...mais c'est dumoins un truc considerable...
il y a une heure a peu pres, elle s 'est liberee momentanement de sa capture.
Elle ne sait pas combien cette escapade va durer mais elle sait qu'elle a au moins 24heures de vie sereine avant de rejoindre sa cellule et faire face a son jugement...
Elle se sent CREVEE!!!
Elle n'a plus la force de mettre a jour son journal si cher a ses doigts...
Elle se force de taper encore une ligne avant de se rendre au sommeil...non, elle doit rentrer. Pas de sommeil bien qu'elle se sent s'evanouir.
Elle aspire a un bain chaud dans lequel elle tentera de noyer ses esprits rigides et uses pour se rafraichir les idees et stimuler ses neurones avec de nouvelle matiere grise car ce qui lui en reste en reserve a present saura a peine la conduire chez elle...

Sur ce, elle vous dit, bonne nuit! Elle n'en peut plus. Ses muscles, sa vision crient à l aide!!! Elle veut bien s'activer mais elle n'y arrive pas car son corps est bien epuisé par la sur-exposition de son cerveau a la facultee de pensee et de reflexion.

Bon, a demain alors ou a plutard!

tic tac tic tac

2008-06-10T20:02:00.004+09:00

ca va sonner bientôt...
il faut se dépêcher si on veut être parmi les "survivants"...
C'est ainsi que commença..son histoire.
Sequestrée dans une grande salle avec sept autres têtes (elle a pu les "dénombrer"), la voilà se débattre contre les aiguilles du temps et les circuits de son cerveau. Ses méninges abordent le court-circuit. >__<. Des papiers éparpillés sur la table, des notes et cahiers par-ci, par-là...Un ordinateur au milieu, surlequel elle vous tape son texte courant, deux stylos a côté, des lunettes dans leur coffret, des livres à droite et à gauche. Elle est dans un monde cérébral et aspire a retourner sur terre...demain.
Pour se motiver et collecter ses esprits, elle a recourt a son espace privé sur ces lieux sacrés et desertés sauf par quelques fidèles curieux de passage ou en visite sur ou sans rendez-vous....

Elle se retrouve dans ses pieds. Ces pieds rassemblés et soutenus. Elle se sent le grand orteil qui harmonise le tout du corp et trace sa silhouette...C'est ainsi qu'elle essaie de tracer ses derniers mots sur un nombre fini de pages pour son 'disquisition' qui doit se rendre le lendemain.
Enfin, une issue possible, se dit-elle...espère-t-elle!

Parfum de Gitane

2008-06-06T19:14:00.002+09:00

I do !!!

2008-06-05T19:39:00.003+09:00

I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him,I love him, i love him, i love him, I love him, I DO !!!

So rare to see me write, type or say such a thing...
My mother is gonna worry. ^^/ When I told her, mom i love you, she looked at me and said: are you ok? :))

So, my Sensei, I love him and I can't believe I am saying this.
We've been through a lot and I am glad I still don't hate him.
We had VERY rough times, but I am glad we worked it out.
God, I feel like talking about my husband or my potential significant other. hehehe
Now, I know...I want a guy that is crazy enough to share my craziness, that makes me LAUGH and perhaps NEVER think.
I am so tired of using my mind that I desperately,am in need for candid talk :).

Peace out :)

Now am heading home, to cook a delicious meal, for a delicious guest. hehehehe.

I like myself when I am in a good mood.

Ma soeur dirait: mezzel ki t3adda...eh oui carina, mouch t3adda bark...93ad m3ana zeda :)

Stress the stress out

2008-06-05T17:54:00.002+09:00

Burried under thousands of papers and hundreds of books and countless pdf files, I managed to escape in the land of procrastination for a couple of minutes, enough to write down these words. Words that are different from the technical jargon.
words that are humane.
:)
am waiting for Him to call on me.
He must be reading the draft as I am procrastinating over his reaction, remakrs and our meeting, overall...
cope with stress by the stress :)
let it taste its own medecine **)

ok, I feel I should break the silence and go see him before I get his call.
Brave, yeah right! I am sure brave :))
...bon
bon..
bon.
enough sarcasm and waisting/using time.
thank u blogy.

* Happy.. "Ness" says Hatem :) ...

2008-06-03T18:31:00.009+09:00

There are some people who come into our lives and will never leave :).
Some people we cannot afford/allow to let go off or lose...
Such people are dear and, yes... unique, like everyone of us...yet special to some of us. These people who can imprint a smile on our faces or sow joy in our hearts or just shine on us with their whole being are, to me a blessing and a tresaure, I cherish and look forward to keeping in safe for as long as I could live.

Yesterday, my friend emailed me to comment on a ppt that I have forwarded.
He has his unique way to enchant my eyes with his sublte humor and fluent expression.
I had to smile. He drew it on my face with his words, his sentences... his sublte mind. I simply love him!
I always degust reading his writings, will always do as I always did...His style in a word is "Wunderbar" !!!

Das ist, Meine Frauen und sehr geehrte Herren, mein liebster deutsche Klasse und Lebenszeitfreund..."FRANCIS" oder "E.T" (wie er sich nennen mag.)!!!

Mensch, Ich verfehle dich!

This is a small thought I had today about my ten year-friend who now lives in Paris where he was born :)...

*By the way, note that Happy people are "Happiness"...Euh..Ness = people in Arabic, as hinted by my witty friend :)

and last but not least...He makes me Happy !!! :)))..........................................
..............................................
...................most of the time ^^) lol.

I need this:

2008-06-03T18:03:00.004+09:00

THE GREAT ESCAPE
by ukaaa (Flickr).

seen in http://www.flickr.com/photos/ukaaa/1102090491/in/photostream/

:)

if u really loved me ...

2008-05-22T23:28:00.002+09:00

:))

source

remettre en question

2008-04-25T12:57:00.003+09:00

Parfois il est necessaire de tout detruire d'une maniere radicale, afin de reconstruire quelquechose sur de nouvelles bases. L'essentiel devient des lors, de s'assurer que ces nouvelles bases sont sures et meilleures...
Que ce soit en relations humaines ou physiques, cette approche demeure valable comme derniere issue surtout quand le chaos reigne..
Le processus de selection et d'elimination est a priori tres important pour definir le degree de la reconstruction. Reconstruire de nouveau ou de zero...Ca sonne "idiot" comme phrase, mais, il y a en effet une difference entre les deux methodes...

A continuer, car la j'ai une autre question a remettre en place ...!!! -_-

Hommage a Toi qui me manque tant...

2008-04-18T22:44:00.001+09:00

je t'aime papa

....

Alors oui je vais vivre sans toi
Mais c'est pas des plus facile crois-moi
Car même si j'te l'disait pas
Je t'aime papa

Je t'ai tellement admiré
Même si j'voulais pas t'le montrer
Pourquoi est-ce quand on perd quelqu'un
Quand c'est seulement a quel point on y tient
Plus jamais j'naimerais un homme comme toi
Et même si on n'se connaisser pas
T'avais pas b'soin d'me parler pour apprendre
Suffisait d't'observer, te comprendre
Et surtout ne t'en veut pas
Car personne ici bas
N'a fait mieux son rôle de papa
Tout s'que j'fais c'est grâce a toi
Je ne suis que ta pensée
Et ne puis que pour sa a te remercier

Alors va repose en paix
Au ciel s'il te plait
Sa yé je vais vivre sans toi
Mais c'est pas des plus facile crois-moi
Car même si j'te l'disait pas
Je t'aime Pa'

I think about U a lot ...

2008-03-18T00:16:00.004+09:00

looooooooooool.
If you r bored and wanna some fun, go HERE

I also like this one:
all things grow...

lol

Sur ce, je vous dis, BUONA NOTTE :)

I am INFJ type

2008-03-17T10:51:00.003+09:00

Last year, I did the Jung typology test and I was ENTP (inventor).
Things have changed....
Today, I do the test again. not sure if it was the same but here are the results:

Your Type is
INFJ

Strength of the preferences %
Introverted 56 %
Intuitive 75 %
Feeling 12 %
Judging 22 %

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:

* moderately expressed introvert
* distinctively expressed intuitive personality
* slightly expressed feeling personality
* slightly expressed judging personality

INFJ type description by D.Keirsey
The Counselor (INFJ)

"The Portait of the Counselor (INFJ)

The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and enterprising and attentive in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.

Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.

Mohandas Gandhi, Sidney Poitier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Emily Bronte, Sir Alec Guiness, Carl Jung, Mary Baker Eddy, Queen Noor are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ). "

---------

I am very dazzeled by this finding because I find myself in almost 99% of what is described above!!!!

Well, I guess am getting to know myself more and more and...better...

Here the link to the test, if interested, JUNG TEST

"lamouni elli gharou menni"

2008-03-13T14:57:00.002+09:00

"those who envied me said..."

The background is a Tunisian song.

The boy rocks with the Darbuka instrument!!!

Plus, He has a "faceless" presence. You don't see a man play, you wee the Artist in him in action.

enjoy

Accomplissement

2008-03-13T14:14:00.003+09:00

There is this unique sense of achievement and accomplishment that one senses when one does what it should be done :).
I just finished submitting a paper, the last 60 seconds where like drops from a broken tap. Second 61 was FREEDOM :) and I'm listening to a symphony distribution of Pain it Black, by Metallica! I'm sensing Glory and I wanna jump around and dance :)
I wish it rains right now and me dancing in the rain, running around like a four year old trying to catch "water from the sky" or trying like a ten year old to "drink from the skies" :)))
NOW, I may sleep.
Ooof.
What is next...
When is the following deadline.
After 60 hours.
Enough to rest my drunken eyes and timed-out mind.
Where are you dear pillow??
Wait, I gotta go teach those kids.
Mmmm, I need a change of scenery.
I easily get bored. My concentration is very impatient without a good motivation.
and it aint easy to keep me motivated. I need nD. aone dimension life ain't enough for me :)
As my sister puts it: You like danger! You like to deal with many things at time...and not just anytime...you like to rush time. m(-_-)m.

Perhaps, I do. I don't like to be rushed by time, so I instead rush it around.
I concede that, as in any hide and seek game, I sometimes get caught by time lol.

As long as the play is enjoyable, I don't mind losing.

Cheers,
gotta go blast the music, run with my best friend, my jitensha and celebrate FREEDOM for 648000 seconds.
Got no minute to spare.
See Ya ;)

Ressort

2008-03-13T13:23:00.002+09:00

Je suis un ressort en movement.
J'oscille depuis un bon bout.
Maintenant,il est temps que je regagne ma position de repos.
Je ressens mon energie degresser.
C'est un bon signe.
Petit à petit, je m'arrêterai de faire le va et le vient.
petit a petit, je dormirais...un petit peu avant qu'un nouveau movement ne me réveille et me tourmente pour les années à venir.

Walking forward

2008-03-13T13:04:00.003+09:00

I am sorry but I am moving on.
I won't stop for time is forward.
I may slow down for pacing is my own.
If you need me, please follow my footsteps.
I will walk together, upward.
I got the necessary patience to go on...
and on...and on...till my time is on!
I am sorry if you jump around.
The right path is laid upon your way
You just have to walk the line
and...learn to be patient.
Good things need time
Good things take time.
Good things require patience.
Going forward is a good thing.
Going forward together is powering.
Oh, friend of mine, Thank you for walking with me.
Oh friend of mine, I will catch you when you fall
As you would when my turn comes to feel down.
and life goes on as we walk along.

-- a tribute to some special people I came across... --
D.A

my patience

2008-03-13T12:36:00.002+09:00

Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Guy Kawasaki

I came across this quote today and I felt relieved!
For as much as I could be patient, am too, impatient.

Nonetheless, I've noticed that I am very patient with "SERIOUS" matters and very impatient with "TRIVIAL" ones.

Yet, today I feel this quote expressing well my kind of Patience.

A friend once told me that she admires my degree of forbearance. Looking back at my actions or reactions, I was quite dazzled myself. My impatience must have been so high for me to display anything but a huge patience. Because I am a strong believer in Time and I hate to offend others. May be that is why letting out my impatience would usually be my last resort. Mostly because nothing would have mattered to me anymore. Surely, when careless about the people and the situation, one is prone to be impatient.
I don't really know if that is good but I very well know that patience is a virtue and not everyone is capable of being it.

Sometimes I see patience as a discipline of one's soul...It's a good-natured tolerance. It reflects one's inner strengths.

I also think that where we evolve, the education we get and the environment we grow up in influence or build up our patience.
As far as I am concerned, My God, My Parents, My teachers, My neighbours and My friends always promoted patience.
So yes, I feel bad when I get impatient. I feel worse when I conceal it. Ironically, I feel peace when I eventually don't show it.
To be patient is a process that requires humongous energy, self composition and control. It translates of a good will.

I don't understand

2008-03-12T03:08:00.002+09:00

Some Human behavior is, I concede, incomprehensible!! at least way beyond my understanding.
I admit that I am very limited to comprehend or foresee some unexpected behavior.

what you say is not always what they hear.
what you do is not always what they see.

The sad part is when you mean good and they interpret it evil. That hurts.

Yet, because there is God, no good deed or good intention ever go unseen.
Eventually there is nothing more fulfilling or liberating than when one does something for God's sake, only. Then , it does no more matter what they understand, as what is in one's heart is known by the Almighty and that is what matters, at least for me. For, God guides whom he wants...

Peace !

walking

2008-03-10T01:43:00.004+09:00

I forgot how much I used to walk and loved walking.
Today I had to walk for 50minutes to get my bicycle that I left the night before at the station.
Anyway, yesterday was a long day. Today was a different kinda long day.
But today I had to "Spazierengehen" :) and LOVED it.
It was a sunny day. Warm. Quiet. Did not wear a coat !!. For someone who is very sensitive to the blowing of the wind, or to any change in the air, I was quite surprised myself. I guess it's the walking. One of the good aspects of walking is warming up while one gains distance over time. Something, riding a bicycle still can not compete with.
So, my ipod on. First listened to some excellent morceaux de piano that my Swedish friend sent to me yesterday, the Prokofiev_Sergei_Piano_Concerto_No_2_in_G_minor_Op_16_1_Andantino_
and then Ravel_Maurice_Piano_Concerto_in_G_2_Adagio_assai_

It was me, the sun and the music...and also my Swedish friend :). I felt like I was a Do note floating on a musical street in my cowtown symphony.

It was a peaceful feeling.

I was also carrying my camera. One never knows when a nice shot has to be snapped.
Also, a small gift I got yesterday for a good friend for I thought I might meet on my way to retrieve my "legs" lol.. Eventually, I set to meet up with two other nice friends who lived by the station I was headed to.
I like multi-tasking :). One good side effect from befriending processors and chips.

By the bridge, suddenly I felt a presence.
I recalled how we used to walk together and talk.
That's when I recalled how I used to walk and loved to walk.
I was smiling all the way down the bridge as if I won a jackpot.
He has never been to my cowtown but today He was here.
I had a larger smile when I recalled how we would walk fast, past my mom and my sisters then would stop surprised to turn around and see no one and wait then, since we both kinda dislike waiting, we resume our steps trying to reduce their frequency then we laugh :).
Today, it felt like one of those days.
I felt home today. I felt home because he was there. Now, I know why I always liked to walk. I must have started the exercise at an early age coz I pace with a speed of light and with a unique sense of (tranquility) quietude, (the French word says better what I feel).

Then it was time to collect my "legs" and meet my friends. Yeah, my bicycle competes with my walking. I confess it took over it but now I admit it could never take over or replace that unique feeling of "quietude" and inner peace.

I ended up spending the whole afternoon and evening with my friends as I learnt they were leaving town soon. One never knows when to meet again, so better take advantage of being there while still there :). Here, too, I like optimization :). Why do tomorrow what I can do today. Ironically, when one deals with things one does not very much appreciate...it is usually more "why do today what u can do tomorrow". hehehe :). That is Procrastination, I guess.

To end this thread, because it is O_O 2.30 am already and I must get some Zzzzs, I am just gonna say that I thank God for the memories we can revive because they make unnecessary some physical presence. After all, isn't this cyberspace a witness that virtual presence is, indeed, a very real world :).

Good night dad.

Priere des temps modernes

2008-03-07T21:39:00.002+09:00

Well, here is a different kind of prayer.
I was working on my research when my friend pops at my window. I beg him to pray for me so that I finish well my paper and this what he says. The sweetest and most original prayer I ever heard:
"
i pray for you
my keyboard is with you
let the cpu be with you.
may the ram keep you safe
let the touchpad be your weapon
let the lcd be your eyes
let the internet be your salvation
research shall set you free
"
Thank you ColdDesert!!!

Confessions of "Two weeks ago"

2008-02-28T23:27:00.006+09:00

it's your pain, not mine. I had my share. that's what I learnt today.
or perhaps came to understand. for God is fair, no one should carry someone else's burden. Sharing is good when God dooms it so, otherwise it is a waste of life or a dead cause.
it's not because things sound good or have a good connotation that they r necessarily good.

However, bad things are bluntly always bad. A small bad thing, by time is a huge bad thing, so don't give bad things the time to grow.
of course, what I say is easy to say from perspective. It is perhaps hardly lived but it is avoidable and that is the whole point. As long as we can stop the harmth, it is good to rush the action.

Nonetheless empaphy is a burden! Once felt it triggers the need to share...God holds the keys to everyone's burdens. God decides of every one's empathies. Blessed they who feel no sympathy, perhaps. Twice as blessed r those who could show some.
Free and selfless kindness is not a given!

When unsure, look for the truth...it is always there, you might see it as you might not!

May the Lord bless us all...and lighten un our ways!

Ameen!

My definition of a friend

2008-02-28T22:29:00.003+09:00

A friend is someone who is not part of your daily life.
Your daily life friends have names: they are your parents, or your sister/ brother/ cousin or neigbbour or co-worker, or classmate, husband, wife, son or daughter.
Your friend is the one you get to see/meet out of your daily routine; the one you escape to when you are bored with your monotone random habits.
A friend is eventually a spaceless being you can reach to wherever you are.
A friend is also a timeless being to whom your can reach whenever you want to. Through thinking, talking, or just imagining, your friend is always there.

Last, but not least...a friend....is someone who.....simply....cares....(always)!!!!!!

Three months to die

2008-02-28T22:05:00.005+09:00

Date: February 16th, 2008
Place: My desk
Time: 17:28:47

TOP CHRONO!

Here we go. I have decided to fight it for the upcoming three months. That's the deadline I set. That's what I've been dreading for a few years.
Now, I am facing it. It has to end. I need to be in a new or old but definitely a different world.

How did I lose her???

We were so close. I recall. I used to function together and I failed her one day. I don't seem to remember when that occurred. It doesn't matter. She faded away. I missed her since.
she was Elitist. She was perfection on two legs. She wouldn't give a draft. She would always hand the final complete version.
She was restless. she was sharp, yet humble. She still is.
Perhaps, that is what remains of her...
Today, she is resurrecting. Enough burying me alive she said.
I have to let her in again for without her I am not...

Myself, how I miss you.
I can't recall when I lost you but I am glad to have found you again.
It's weird. Absence changes us. It changes even our inner selves and on ne se reconnait plus.
But, we can work it out. For, you are me and I am you. We are bond to match. It's when we mismatch that we live hell.

So what?!! I don't belong here. Perhaps, here does not belong to me. Why do I have to bend to it?. Why wouldn't it suit me? I can make it do so. I have the tools. I got the power! But is it worthy...

Perhaps, we just belong together. We just keep ignoring it for change is dreadful. For adapting is consuming. Though, it is all worth a try.

Her life was never mundane. She always had high expectations...of herself. The impossible was not her solution set. She always saw through things. She always believed that what the brain could reach, existed, regardless of whether the eye could see, or the ear would hear, or the hand would touch. Our senses and our thoughts are separate entities.

Plus, she was his daughter.
He was everything but ordinary. He would always surprise his relatives and friends and coworkers and neighbours. He was very creative. He's learned from the school of life. Experience was his knowledgeable science of action.
He was the salt that gives taste to the life of those who loved him.
When he s not there. You easily sense the bitterness. and She was a feminine version of him. She was the sunshine that brightens her people's worlds. When she's not there, it's cloudy. It also rains when she hides away...and she did it quite often, recently. She hates it though. But we are all seasons. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we are dry, sometimes we are bright, sometimes we are fresh and sometimes we are not there...

So, she is back for three months, she said. Already back and heading to setting her deadlines and plans. It is not impossible, you know. Three months are enough of a lifetime to prosper and fulfill what three years wouldn't perhaps reach.
You are racing time and you better be smart for time knows where it's running and you do not. Time is lost when you limit it. Time is controlled when you attend the limit. You want to defeat it, you fail. You want to befriend it, you gain. Even an idiot would know what to choose except for suicidals, perhaps.

So, how does it work, I asked.
As time is rushing...Abstraction is the key. Focus is the process and action is the tool. Will is the fuel and brain is the engine.
You have your schema. Now let's work on it.
I smiled to hearing "let's"....She smiled back "you are not doing it alone this time". We are here.

Workaholic is our next position for the upcoming three months before you rest in peace. You know I don't rest, she added. I vanish or disappear when not satisfied. I can't promise to get back again for, where I come from is far and deep. Resurfacing requires divine energy and takes profound human strengths. Please, don't fail me this time. I will not say "again" for everything, even repetitive things are unique. At least they occur on their own time. So it is never again, "again" and we both smiled.

Here is the plan:

Abstraction: live in their world but only see yours. It is not selfish to coexist.
Live, underlines interaction. See underlines selection...for you can always close your eyes, thus not see! also you may pretend to...

Focus: avoid the enemy: distraction. For that, know well your enemy and shield away from it. It could be your friend, your worse enemy. That might hurt, but Time survives injuries. Befriend time and all your enemies fear you. Befriend time and you shall never lose a friend.

Her standards were so high that they seemed unreachable for the simpletons...Glory was her natural reward. Truth was her aim. Wisdom’s her eternal quest and mostly, justice’s her spleen of life.
Lies do not break her. Failure does not damage her, Silliness does not shame her but unfairness wounds her, might even extinguish her.
Therefore guilt would consume her alive and that's why she adopted rectitude and honesty as her communication tools. To truly hurt you is better than to falsely save you, she believed.

Life, the purpose of her life was not to exist or to prosper. she rather wanted achieving peace...peace of mind and a third gram of the wisdom divine...

(To be continued)

D.A

O I love him!

2008-02-20T19:19:00.003+09:00

On se connait depuis 16 ans!!! deja!!!
Que le temps passe vite.
There are people we just can't help but love for what they are.
I have a dear friend, whom I love very much and beg of God to keep us in touch until our last days on earth. I admire this person. I highly respect my friend.
I am simply honored to be his friend.
He is so humble, noble and graceful. Plus, very smart, well mannered and highly educated.
What I like the most about him is his selfless kindness and his insightful wisdom.
He is one of the rare people, I would blindly follow.
He is a rare kind of person. I wish the world had more of him.
A good man is not a given.
My friend is a good man.
No wonder healing people is his discipline... :)

I donno if I would envy, she, who would get to his heart, or love her even more.
:)

Voila, une petite pensee a toi mon ami tres cher. Que Dieu te benit et te garde toujours.

Sincerement,
ton amie depuis un siecle

moi **)

My words

2008-02-17T01:33:00.002+09:00

I sometimes like to invent words. I find that some words do not fully express what I intend. Learning many languages leads one to confusion, I swear m(-_-)m.

So, in my Dictionary today, I would like to add:
Directitude (n) and Solutionary (adj).

...

Life is like a text book

2008-02-12T23:58:00.000+09:00

"Life is like a text book", he said..."It has an introduction and a conclusion", I thought. "Let's make of reading it an enjoyable experience", I told myself.
"Each new page we turn brings new events, some of them we expected, and some of them are part of the unknown. The past is the pages we read. We can still read through them. The future is the page we turn. The present is the page we are reading. We discover it bit by bit. ", I pondered.
"No body really knows the future but the writer of the book. We don’t get to write the life textbook but we get to play a role. Let's each then be the hero/heroine of our own stories...", I wondered.

That is what I learnt today.

In fact, I like reading. However, it never occured to me before that I could read my own textbook, too!! All these characters I've known...and never thought I could be one too.
After all, we all get a life. To be its hero is not given to every one. It's more the choice of some ones.

In the end, it does not really matter to be the hero (though perhaps preferable) as much as it matters to have a good reading.

"Meeting you is a miracle"

2008-02-12T23:54:00.000+09:00

Today, I think I heard the most humble compliment of my life from my lab-mate.
Never, ever, did I think or even expect to hear such a sweet yet deep thing from someone here…
“It’s a miracle to meet you, you know”he said. "There are 6 billion people on Earth; we are from two different worlds and we get to meet. So keeping in touch with you is important for it is very unique for us to meet. There is some kind of wisdom, sometimes, behind meeting some special people. And meeting you is precious: we can learn from one another s different life experiences. I value that. It is not everyday I get to meet people from your end. It is not everyday you get to meet people from a world that is not yours.", he explained.

Hearing such words was enlightening. It made me realize how grateful I am to my Lord for giving me this opportunity to travel the world and get to know certain individuals that I might have never encountered had I led an ordinary living…It also made me value every single person I came across in my life. The fact that we had to meet up, the simple fact that we were destined to cross ways, is enough reason to consider these people, indeed special or precious...and to ponder about it!!

Well, we might keep in touch. We might not. But, in my mind, you shall always exist.

2008-02-11T00:08:00.001+09:00

Hana…

I was sitting. He came to me and politely asked me to talk to her.
I go to talk to her. But she ends up talking to me.
The first and best time in my life, I get to learn about gems.
The whole subject was brought up when she asked for my name.
For the first time, I learn how rare and valuable mom’s choice was.
So, thank you mama for calling me after pure rare pearls.
As explained by Hana, pure gems are the highest ranked jewel in the scale of diamonds set..
Yes, proud, I am. Not of my name (though I could) but of my Mom.
I love you mama. You too, your name is very suitable for you.

“Hana”, a Japanese flower and an Arabic bliss, was a memorable encounter.
She smelled nice. She made me happy.

The best to come, she is touring the world.

Have safe trips “Hana”.

I want some peace of mind

2008-02-10T12:22:00.000+09:00

I do. I desperately do...
Yesterday, a friend of mine was saying "You think too much". True. Very true and I am tired of thinking. I have so many things in mind to handle that I just can't focus anymore. Or perhaps I could but for a very short while then confusion takes over the control. Sometimes we get a bunch of things to prioritize and somehow they all seem equally important...That's when the brain gets tired.
The only time, I actually don't think is when I am with my friends or just surrounded by people. I melt in the crowds and pretend I am fine.
Surely I am fine until I am alone and have to think again.
Sometimes, I would like to seek some friend's advice. Or just seek a friendly ear. But I am too proud to ask. Or I would ask but never really reveal what troubeling me is. That's when tears come handy. They are the silent words I couldn't voice out. I let then run in tears. When I cry, I don't cry because I feel bad or weak. I cry words that cannot come out.
I just wish I could control my worries. i sometimes hope I could be brainless or thoughtless to stop considering every detail.

Anyway, I just need some peace of mind. So, I go play darts when I don't want to think. May be I should have a darts board on my screen. I am just kidding.
My point is that the only time I don't really think at all is when I play. I care less about winning or losing though I am good at rising the challenges. I just wish I could deal in the same way with my problems. Why can't I care less...
Perhaps, because they matter.
We can rematch a game but we can't really rematch one's life.
Well, at least I am now glad that if I think too much, it is perhaps that what I am thinking about really matters...In a positive way, it is good to have more than one thing to worry/care about....

Ok. I gotta stop now. I feel pain everywhere. It was snowing yesterday and my bike slipped and my whole body hit the ground. It was so funny when it happened. I always take shocking news with humor...However the following morning, things're not really funny anymore for the pain resurrects or persists. I would handle the pain but because my brain never stops thinking, the pain seems exponential...Well, surely, our nerves are connected :). What was I thinking!

It's good to write out on this blog. I feel somne peace of mind now.

Thanks for reading or for stopping by.

A+

kins come first

2008-02-05T00:04:00.000+09:00

When I lost my dad, I realised that the most valuable thing in living life is to share it with those we endear the most.
That was like a turning point in my life cause it somehow messed up all my plans...
Now, I don't plan..I just live each day as it comes. trying to figure it out bit by bit.
Perhaps not the best approach there is. But it suits my current situation.
That led me to change my attitude towards life. Obviously.
So, one day, in May, my cancer-ed Japanese mother invited me to spend the whole Sunday with her. To my misfortune, an influential figure on my current life status aka My PhD Advisor has asked me to meet and discuss on Sunday. My mom's RDV was settled weeks earlier. His invitation was Saturday, the eve of the infamous Sunday. Advisers are Gods in the land of the PhD world.
Or so they think, and we are recommended to think so, otherwise, complications might occur.

To avoid.

Hence, my Influential figure request was plainly a form of polite order in disguise.
Badly, I am still living according to my turning point. so I said, I can't on Sunday. I have promised to visit my Mom. She is sick. I don't know when I might lose her.
That was quite a shock to my Almighty. Of course, due to the excuse, he could not but accept my apology. However, for the following months, thus until August, He made me pay the price of my audacious rebellion, or shall I say the price of my non obedience. That came to end, when in August I learnt that I lost my mamachan. As much as it hurt me, as much as I felt grateful I made it that Sunday. Because, it was the last time I ever saw her. Before I saw her again lifeless this time, lying in her goodbye bed...
I was grateful to my decision to prioritize meeting her over...my Carrier.

We live everyday but we die one day.
Does it sound the other way around in the Deadland? Do they perceive the existence as: We are dead everyday and we lived one day...Notice, I couldn't say "we die everyday", I couldn't conjugate live in the present either.
Quite interesting. But I can't explain it.

Anyway, that was hors-sujet.

Back to my point. My turning point :).
Life or Death or God has its unique ways to surprise us. I explain. If it is life that is doing so, it has its way to bring unexpected events. If it's Death, it has its ways to haunt us and if it is God, He has his secret wisdom to trigger life and death processes....
So, four months after my mamachan has passed away, my papachan, her husband, gets cancer too. He calls me and lets me know.
Me: blunt.
Nonetheless, I know that as long as I got time, I am so spending it with him. I'll share whatever billions of seconds left for both of us to live, together. For, once a kin or a friend is gone....billions of things one wished to say or do surface afterwards....Sometimes that is a virtual torture.

Do it while you can!
Be there for your friends, if not for them, for yourself.
Annoy your friends with your love for they might go or you might go as well.
Someone has to watch time from above. someone has to see the whole picture.
So when you get involved in the details, let a good friend guide you to that whole picture. When you drawn in the general frame and you seem to miss the details, let a good friend navigate you through them.
One might feel bothered..but it is worth the try.

I never regretted having said I can't come this Sunday, though it bothered me soooo much that I couldn't.

Self-esteem

2008-02-01T14:33:00.000+09:00

"I am the X of F", she said. F, being one of my friends.

So, here goes the story:

I met the x of one of my friends in the convenient store near my house, the other day. I, barely, recognized the person, because we never really spoke. My friend never really made the proper introductions. Perhaps, it was not important for us to know each other. Yet, when faces meet, eyes are like "I know you from somewhere"...

I am not good at remembering names but I am good at registering faces. I am good with pictures, yet they have to impact on me for me to save them. That is, a face has to be special! By special, I mean, I can see the person's soul out of it. So, if I don't remeber your face, I am sorry, but that is most probably because there has been no cerebral communication between us. It does not have to be a verbal communication. Sometimes eyes talk better than tongues. Sometimes silence says about one more than voice would.

The friend I am talking about, actually, is good at communicating with eyes. My friend is also great in silence. I could sometimes listen to his silent words and find kindness in them more than in his spoken expressions.

So, back to the main topic. When I saw that person, I didnot remember her face but I remembered a common expression that somehow is imprinted on her face: WORRY!
I don't know if it is just me, but this person seems always worried. I think, I was about to ask "Are you ok?" when it hit me!!!! Oh! I've seen this face before!

The funny part was, as she spoke, I could finally tell why she always had and most probably why she'd always have that weird lost face! ...

I say funny, because that is my only humble way to be sorry for someone!

And by the way, I am gaijin.in.nihon.
Nice to meet you.

********** **********

What I meant is the following:

I find it desolating to refer to one's self via someone else's. We usually like to refer to someone we are proud of or who is proud of us...

Saying "I am x" is not like saying "I am x the friend of Y", or like "I am x the daughter/son of W" or like "I am the x of Y".

The way we refer to ourselves, tells a lot about us, more than that we would say, sometimes...

So, ...my humble advice to my humble readers :) ::

Watch out the next time you introduce yourself to someone you know or don't know. The impact of a first introduction might last forever.
As like any introduction, actually, in the books, in papers or in our school essays, etc. people might forget what one would have said but not the impact of a first encounter with what one has just said.

Music and Lyrics

2008-01-29T12:14:00.000+09:00

Well that was a "sweet" movie. It's not really the romance that I liked in it. It's more the lyrics and the rythms played in it. I guess the title is very suitable.

So, here are the hits from that movie:

Way back into love:

">

I like when he tells her that it is a song intended for humans lol....

The next one is DON'T Write me Off ...

">

Turn of the lights and watch these bits.
Smile and have a sweet fun.

Gaijin [mode douceur]

"LovinG U is not an Option"

2008-01-28T23:16:00.001+09:00

I just came across some amazing photos, such the one above, done by PERSON. ...She's only 18 !!!!!
Very Creative Work!
Love it/ Love her :)

Bonjour

2008-01-26T08:38:00.000+09:00

C'est le matin.
Je viens de me reveiller il y a une demi-heure.
Je m'aprete a sortir dans une demi heure.
c'est fou combien notre vie est reglee a la 'demie-heure'.

voila.

Pas trop de bavardage.

A+

Affrontant les Defis

2008-01-24T09:05:00.000+09:00

Aujourd'hui, je me retrouve face a de grands defis et je me ressens si miniscule ...mais...toujours confiante et d'avantage croyante!!

Vaut mieux etre seul que mal accompagné!

Research interests chart

2008-01-23T11:17:00.001+09:00

So true!!!!

incroyable!

My fun post before I sleep

2008-01-23T03:23:00.000+09:00

Hello Friends,

I am sleepy right now and still surfing the last bits of me online.

Came across these funny quotes:

"God is dead" - Nietzsche. ....

"Nietzsche is dead" - God.

lol

Dress code working-style indicators:
jacket on = directing;
jacket off = participating;
trousers off = performing.

**/

Sur ce je vous dis "Dolci Sogni ragazzi e ragazze"

Sketching Languages

2008-01-22T12:11:00.000+09:00

Hilarious is Eddie Izzard in this sketch from his show "Dress to kill".

Homemade Taser

2008-01-21T23:28:00.000+09:00

How To Build A Homemade Taser - Watch more free videos

5 stages of grief

2008-01-18T02:21:00.000+09:00

The five stages of grief according to Elisabeth kübler ross

1 - Denial
Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. It's a defence mechanism and perfectly natural. Some people can become locked in this stage when dealing with a traumatic change that can be ignored. Death of course is not particularly easy to avoid or evade indefinitely.

2 - Anger
Anger can manifest in different ways. People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with others, especially those close to them. Knowing this helps keep detached and non-judgemental when experiencing the anger of someone who is very upset.

3 - Bargaining
Traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever God the person believes in. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.

4 - Depression
Also referred to as preparatory grieving. In a way it's the dress rehearsal or the practice run for the 'aftermath' although this stage means different things depending on whom it involves. It's a sort of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty, etc. It shows that the person has at least begun to accept the reality.

5 - Acceptance
Again this stage definitely varies according to the person's situation, although broadly it is an indication that there is some emotional detachment and objectivity. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must necessarily pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.

(Based on the Grief Cycle model first published in On Death & Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, 1969. Interpretation by Alan Chapman 2006.)

"Logic Bomb"

2008-01-17T11:31:00.000+09:00

Sys admin jailed for 30 months over failed logic bomb
Tick, tick, tick, tick... oh
(full article here)

ahhhhhhhh the "logic" word...I mean world...hmm hmm

if

2008-01-16T19:40:00.000+09:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Dhoom the Gigolo

2008-01-16T18:20:00.000+09:00

Combine Greek and Indian potentials, you get an English cool video clip! :), that's, you get an English accomplishment or a Holl/Bollyy-wood-like recognition...For a sec, I thought I spelled Halle Berry*. Nope

Voici donc une vidéo d'un film indien que j'aime bien ( le seul, d'ailleurs, jusqu'à présent) Dhoom 2. L'acteur Hrithik is awesome but it's not the reason I enjoyed watching that movie. It was a scene. Just a single scene, that drew me to watch it from start to end. The scene at the Museum...I thought the idea was very clever and original. Plus, the guy was handsome. That scene does not appear in this video clip. If you would like to watch the movie drop me a line, I will find a way to share it with you ;).
In addition to the clip, I like the song, GIGOLO by Helena Paparizou. Very thrilling! Somehow teasing, tacqy, audacieuse (daring), je dirai.
Oh and very energetic. The kind of rythms to listen to when riding a bicycle !!

Have Fun!

* in case you didn't get the joke.Because of the nihongo influence, I'm starting to mix r and l...and that is perhaps a sign it's time to leave...time to be gaijin somewhere else..

Oh, I found the museum scene I told you about above ;) coool. Regardez:

PS: because of my radioblog, don't forget to pause it if you intend to watch the videos :) just in case :)...to avoid a war on music !!

I need the thrill...

2008-01-16T18:16:00.000+09:00

What's life without danger?

What's life without mystery?

What's life without the unknown?

What's life without the thrill of living?

In a word...

BORING!

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Who says more? Who can say better?, Yalla, let me hear you echo :)

When me, myself and I get along...

2008-01-16T17:52:00.000+09:00

{Hors Sujet} -- you may skip it --

I like today...it was a good day *en somme*!

It's the 16th out of 365 days to come, perhaps.
It's someone's birthday.
It's a friend's birthday...The master of the puppets...
But that is not the object of my message.

I'm here to talk about ...ME, yes my humble me...

{Fin Hors Sujet}

When me, myself and I get along...
.
.
.

It's not joy...it's euphoria!!! It's tremendous peace and a big happiness...a beatitude!!

Such "merry state of the being" doesn't alas last long, it's meant to please a moment of time; and as long as it is lasting, I'm chewing every single bit of it !

Yes!

I recommend you do the same ^^)

Belated existence

2008-01-14T14:46:00.000+09:00

14 days in 2008. That is two weeks of delay to wish you all, Friends bloggers, a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I can do better! Last week, was the new Muslims Year 1429! Happy New Hijri year Fellas! I was traveling and I was unaware of it! I swear! I got to learn it via a message in my cell phone as soon as I switched it on when I got back from my trip, from a friend who's not Muslim. Pleased and Happy. Pleased to learn the news and Happy to hear them from her. She's the only person so far who payed attention that other people in the world co-existed, within my neighbourhood, I intend!

As a non Christian, I like to wish Merry Christmas to all my friends who observe Christmas or to whom it may matter. I don't mind someone wishing me a merry Christmas either, but honestly, I don't very much like it when the person happens to know Christmas ain't my tradition.

I care about one's traditions....why can't one care about mine too? or at least, show some consideration. If you don't care, don't assume your traditions are every body's traditions.
It reflects on a self-absorbed mind.
...It reflects on a narrow-minded world, centred on a global idea of a global culture. Yet, Global includes our differences.
Perhaps, Globalization tends to make everyone melt in harmony. However, it should stress out or accentuate our diversity. For a meal to have a taste, it has to mix ingredients. A meal with one ingredient...singles a unique taste. It might be healthy...but it tastes somehow fade...Actually, it does not feel like it tastes anything at all since it is composed of one element only and is not compared to something different...The healthy part, depends more on the way of cooking than on the ingredient(s) within...I reckon.
Now, to tase good, or bad...That's another issue.
Taste, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
True, there are some universal concepts that would qualify something Delicious or not. Nonetheless, likes and dislikes are hard to discuss in general, sometimes, or may be...always!

When we wish something, we think is good, to someone, it underlines the expression of good intentions, especially when that same person knows that we think good. Regardless, it shows our care and thought of the person, our consideration.
However, one should watch out when such behavior might show a lack of understanding or knowledge, or simply a lack of consideration. One's intention might not be perceived the way one intended it. One's ignorance (be it genuine or arrogant)could sometimes offend others. It's hard for me to imagine one intending to hurt, just for the sake of hurting. Yet, people hurt and get hurt, often. Because of a random lack of communication or a lack of consideration. Also because of a lack of openness from their part, as well.

Anyway, I talk too much...Hmmm and I enjoy that :). So...In my humble opinion...:

The point of my rambling discursive thread, is that, it's good to be considerate with one another. It's even better to care to be.

Fearing the Beast

2008-01-14T14:27:00.000+09:00

She's been avoiding meeting him for a while. She's kept postponing the inevitable encounter for a while. She's been simply procrastinating about it for a while.
And then, out of the blue, while she was about to leave, in her bubble of fear, a shadow flashes on her room door glass. Oh, God, it's him. And yes, it was him! Her beast about to open the door! For the nanoseconds that preceeded their "delayed meeting" she was stoned, wishing she had the magical power of disappearing!
He opens the door! Surprised to see her, with a large smile, greeted her, Hello! How have you been! To her wonder, she didn't see the beast. She smiled back, happy to have ended that series of unconfortable avoidance with a smile. A genuine smile, indeed!
That was it! all that built-in fear and successions of worst case scenarios and imagination of horrible reactions vanished....with a smile.
She stood there confident. He left. She stayed pondering.
My only Beast...my own Fear....My biggest Fear....My.....self!

OkCupid ...

2007-12-07T04:34:00.000+09:00

The Wild Rose

Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLD)

Colorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose.

Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you're the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling.

You don't seem to take yourself too seriously, and that's refreshing. You aren't uptight; you don't over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't a top priority--a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven't had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You're very selective.

The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You're out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone.

Your exact female opposite:

The Dirty Little Secret

Deliberate Gentle Sex Master

Always avoid: The Bachelor (DGSM)

Consider: The Vapor Trail (RBLM)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.

My Russian Name :)

2007-11-27T04:25:00.001+09:00

Your Russian Name Is...

Dominika Inessa Smirnov

What's Your Russian Name?

What Makes You a Good Friend?

2007-11-27T04:24:00.001+09:00

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal

You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing.
You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere.

And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile.
You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about.

You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid.
Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen.

Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else

You really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quickly

Your friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."

What Makes You a Good Friend?

Am I a Romantic or Realistic Girl?

2007-11-27T04:10:00.001+09:00

hehe, I knew it:

You are Totally Realistic

"Romance" means you're about to roll your eyes
Seriously, you can do without the sap or drama
Save it for someone who has nothing really going on in their relationship

For you, love is real - and easily integrated into your life
You don't need candles, flowers, or chocolates to know he's the one
Just some stimulating conversation... and maybe a great smile.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic Girl?

am I the - Bring Home to Mom - type

2007-11-27T03:50:00.000+09:00

Well, the test said yes!

Your Guy Should Bring You Home

You're classy, well-mannered, and you have great social skills.
And you're definitely sure to impress your guy's parents.
If he doesn't bring you home to meet mom, he's crazy!

Would He Bring You Home to Mom?

Are You Prejudiced?

2007-11-27T03:46:00.001+09:00

You Are Not Prejudiced

Not only are you color blind, but you're also ethnicity blind, gender blind, and sexual orientation blind.
You don't judge someone until you truly know them. And even then, you're probably reluctant to judge.
You try to treat everyone equally. Everyone has a fair chance with you.
Good job - there's not a prejudiced bone in your body.

Are You Prejudiced?

Me, Myself and I

2007-11-27T03:36:00.000+09:00

You Are Pretty Happy Being Single

You have a full, fun life. And you definitely don't need love to be content.Of course, being single can get you down a little. Especially when you've been single for a while.But you know how to be patient and wait for the right person. You're life is too good to settle for anything!

Are You Happy Being Single?

To someone who is special

2007-11-27T01:51:00.000+09:00

Now, il y ait des gens qui nous sont, tout simplement, particuliers!!
We cherish and love them and look forward to keeping them till the end of time..
A ce genre d'individus, je souhaiterais me confesser:

You mean the world to me. What hurts you, hurts me and I will always be there for you. 1/
I will be deeply sad if I lose you. 2/
I hate to fight you or to doubt you so please don't prompt me coz I'll just freeze. 3/
Whatever happens, you will always remain special to me. 4/

To someone who thinks is special

2007-11-27T01:40:00.000+09:00

Il y ait des fois, on rencontre des gens avec qui on s’entend guerre. A ce genre de personnes, je souhaiterais balancer mes quatre sous :

I don’t care if you don’t appreciate me 1/
The only reason I see you is because you have a physical appearance, for instance a volume that blocks my eyesight. Sadly you aren’t see-through…2/
I bug you?! Say you?!…you think I care? 3/
To know you = not to know you. 4/

Though, I respect you for you have proved to be smart...

Eventually I don’t look forward to knowing you.

So, relax and stop thinking you might be special for you mean genuinely nothing to me!

Ca m’enerve les nombrils du monde... surtout quand ils se le croient bien ! et ce que j'aime bien c'est que, I honestly don't care about them. They never get to me, however I hate it when they hurt my friends...
That's when I care...and then only.

long time no C

2007-11-27T01:35:00.000+09:00

Waw, it has been a while...as usual that I've deserted this place and never looked back...
Today, I am stopping by, as usual when all hopes are gone, as if to contradict the facts.
I like to keep the faith :)

So where were we?

my type is ENTP

2007-07-03T10:39:00.000+09:00

My ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.

Details of my Jung Test Results:

Extroverted (E) 54.17% Introverted (I) 45.83%Intuitive (N) 58.33% Sensing (S) 41.67%Thinking (T) 62.5% Feeling (F) 37.5%Perceiving (P) 62.5% Judging (J) 37.5%

By the way, welcome back to me :)

lol

How have you been people? eople ... ple ... le ... e
...Just the echo of my voice..........This place is empty....ick.....CIAOOOO!

Belated wishes...

2007-01-22T16:45:00.000+09:00

Ok. I was absent for a while since 2006...hehe, how i love these...see you next year when next year is tomorrow.

so:

I got it all in delay for this end/beginning of the year. ok. let's not be supersticious...

MERRY CHRISTMAS for all my Christian friends.

HAPPY EID-el Idha and Happy Hajj for every Muslim on Earth, though some bad timing in Iraq made some people sad in such a holy day...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007 to Everyone. I kinda like the 7 :)

what else. Happy birthdays to all my capricorn friends ;)

Voila. now it is done.

Happy everything :)

Belated Happy Birthday wishes to me :)

2007-01-22T16:41:00.000+09:00

Last year's December 28, was my Birtyhday. I spent the most of it in the trains between Narita and downtown Tokyo and the suburbs...My sister was visiting, her surprise gift for my bday :). and the poor thing..her plane got delayed 3 times. all in all around 11hours. we got to spend the lasdt 30 min of Dec 28 together at least. hehehe, what a day.
so I did this test and it turns out not very wrong actually. many things...are me..

Your Birthdate: December 28

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame.
You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems.
Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego.
You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance.

Your strength: Your bold approach to life

Your weakness: You don't accept help

Your power color: Bronze

Your power symbol: Pyramid

Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

my Inner European...

2007-01-22T16:24:00.000+09:00

lol. I am lmho..I just took the test and here is the result...dude, more than 20 years of French education and evidently the test result would be :. grrrr ( ouais, je rale lol, c Fghench, non. hehehe.)

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated.
You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's Your Inner European?

Rattrapage

2006-12-13T14:09:00.000+09:00

Well gotta do some catching up here.
So Top Chrono.
Ten days ago, I have been to a watarase kawa ( it's a river name) in order to observe koyou. Koyou are the Japanese autumn red leaves. Very beautiful...

Thank you Emina...

2006-12-13T13:51:00.000+09:00

Well, I'm back....Finally.
I have been VERY busy these couples of months. I almost forgot I had a blog when I found today a comment on my blog in my email.
So I would like to thank anyone who has stopped by or had dropped a line.
I will try to get back to my online journal. Ain't easy you know. Too complicated: you need a computer, you neeed a connection, you need electricity...lol However, with the old fashioned handwriting, one can "type" anywhere, anytime even under a candle light :).
But, I am not saying I dislike computers...my laptop is my best friend...it is just I somehow feel missing my old buddy...the pen..or shall I say my old buddies:, the paper and the pen.

I should write more.

Am a very terrible friend...(-_-)

T__T

(ごめね)

Conversing with My Blog

2006-06-19T17:23:00.000+09:00

Me: Hello there, long time no see.."ne"

My Blog: so desu ne. where have you been..

Me: I was very busy. sorry.

My Blog: Didn't you miss me :(

Me: yeah..Well Actually, no I did not. Sorry.

My Blog: O_o; Really!
Are you that straightforward!!! ;_;.

Me: YES. Sorry. I know I am very arrogant when you don't expect me to...

My Blog: but Why??

Me: Keine Ahnung. Might be a "defense mechanism".

My Blog: defense? against what?

Me: against hypocrisy!

My Blog: are you suggesting I am ..

Me: No. I don't suggest dear, I just say what I think. Unless I state it clear, you'd better think good of me ;). Don't assume...

My Blog: ok :). I can see that you are very direct...

Me: You have no idea. It is costly too, you know.

My Blog: haha, I bet...

Me: cool, I think we're friends again.

My Blog: when were we not?

Me: while I was off.

My Blog: yeah, you didn't say where you were off?

Me: Told you. I was at BusyLand. A very disturbing area...

My Blog: Honto?

Me: honto. in BusyLand, everyone wears the BusyFace and is ruled by StressLaw. Not a good place to visit. I don't recommend.

My Blog: why did you go there then???

Me: I didn't go there. I live there. I am stuck there. Anyway, Soon, I'm leaving to FreeLand.

My Blog: and where is that??

Me: in AnyWheresLand.

My Blog: Where is that too ??

Me: oh, you exasperate me. aren't you good at Geography. go google it ;). hehehe.

My Blog: yeah right, very funny.

Me: indeed, quite funny. :P

My Blog: I have second thoughts.

Me: about...

My Blog: "we friends"...

Me: hahaha, take your time. I'm in in a hurry.
I will be back in another while. so you may have a third to a 100th thought my dear "friend"..

My blog: Now, you're being sarcastic.

Me: do you mind?

My Blog: No, I love sarcasm.

Me: so I guess we're still friends. :P

My Blog: I am at my "fifth" thought for now ...

Me: great, you do sarcasm too. Very nice ;)

My Blog: see, you're not the only one.

Me : didn't say I were. My imagination won't betray me, I guess...

MY Blog: You're mean :P

Me: I know :P and you're very clever.

My Blog: yeah, you know...the product of your imagination ! ;)

Me: :)), ok, gotta go. Was very nice chatting with you my imagination. Talk to you later.

My Blog: . kiotsukette

True Friendship

2006-06-07T22:58:00.000+09:00

This is a text I've read and liked. Just wanna share it with people who value friendship :) ...

- Recognition
How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.

How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

- Relationship, Trust, Accountability
True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.

Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.

" lookin' 4 Funds"

2006-05-31T23:05:00.000+09:00

Well, please, help me get funds to download a song I like (-^_^-).
I need to promote the website from which I would like to get this song.
So, who wants to help, pleaaaase :).
Thanks.
and the link is at mp3sugar.com
I'm supposed to get credits if anyone clicks there and subscribes as my friend.
so friends here and there, will you be there **/

Domo-domo :)

Payback

2006-05-31T22:18:00.000+09:00

Calmly and wisely, erupted the volcano.
been beholding its anger for a while
yet as injustice grew blatant
in return,
the volcano gave 'them' as good as it got.
Tomorrow shall it spread its frozen ireful magma...

"Warte, warte nur ein Weilchen,
Bald kommt auch das Glück zu dir.
Mit dem ersten blauen Veilchen
Klopft es leis' an deine Tür.

-Willi Kollo - "

Tears of Heaven

2006-05-24T01:55:00.000+09:00

This picture is having nothing to do with the CD or the group..it just expressed well...how I was feeling today noon...and YES, it helps so much to CRY from time to time...
It is a blessing from God to have TEARS...Somehow they are the best to cleanse one's eyes and comfort one's heart.

If there is one thing that I abhor ...it is nonsense..and recently I have been fed nonsense to drive one crazy O_o... How unenjoyable it is to have to deal with people who behave like robots...[recall, robots, were first designed to behave like men...]
Yet, it's one thing for some people to like to play the robots..it is another thing when they also wanna make a robot out of you too...Here, it simply becomes beyond IRRITATING...
Right now, I am still cool, despite that inside I feel a volcano about to erupt...I am waiting for it to explod "ENOUGH"..Sayonara! I am afraid soon...Still measuring my forbearance, which, surprisingly, is still holding still...That must be GAMAN(=ENDURANCE)...

Wait a minute,, I always hated "endurance" races and loved sprints...When I wait for nonsense, I feel going against nature...and I wish I could zip it, sprint to the next level...Run as fast as you can as long as you can. Running "dabbadabba" frustrates me...it holds back my energy, my motivation, my being...Though, i admit one needs to slow down from time to time, but only when necessary.

"Tied up too tight"

2006-05-21T02:46:00.000+09:00

"Oh where I come from ....I just don't conform ....

...Get me out of here! Leave the boredom behind
Wanna see the bright lights, Get this thing in gear

Yeah...

Soon I'm riding in my car; Follow the star; Drop on empty town
With the stereo lit; Take the Great West Road out"

...Yet, still bored T_T ...

Forbearance

2006-05-20T23:35:00.000+09:00

I might pretend to be cool with something VERY annoying, however, my body has recently started to react differently. Simply: it will strain to a point that exceeds my forbearance, sometimes >__<.
I wonder how our body communicates with our psychic?
...

Anyway, nighty.

Goodbye my friend !

2006-05-20T23:31:00.000+09:00

"I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile." -J.B-

Fancy Pants Man !!

2006-05-11T22:58:00.000+09:00

Here, check it out, what a great man, I mean, GAME ;).
Whenever you wanna "kill some time", just play the Fancy Pants Man ;).
ENJOY !!
YEAH ! YEAH !

Fiction vs Reality ...

2006-05-10T00:11:00.000+09:00

I just read about this horrifying story...about the German Cannibal -_- ..
I still can't believe it happened for real.
...
Here is a French, "short" version.

>___<

-Ellotf ya Rabbi !-

New Look

2006-05-07T10:47:00.000+09:00

^^/ I had my hair cut yesterday. It feels so good to have a "new" head.
It suits my new house, my new part-time and my new mood ^^/.

"Remember, remember the 5th of November"

2006-05-04T04:12:00.000+09:00

Well, today was the "reward day".
The moving, excuse me, "the nightmare" was over, yet a new one to welcome, which is putting in order the new place...but let's proceed step by step ^^/
So, Today, my friend ( who helped me the most and I am VERY grateful to her assisting me in my moving ) and I, went to watch V for Vendetta...
I did not expect to be impressed. How shall I put it..., I find it AMAZING...!!
So, people, just," Remember, remember the 5th of November."
...

and @ Tarek, I remembered you while watching the movie, not only because the story was in London, but also and for most because of the "British Accent" ;) ^^/. I was smiling all time along. lol...Somehow, for the first time, I got to notice and appreciate the British accent ;). ..so Thanks for drawing my attention to it.

bulk

2006-05-01T18:47:00.000+09:00

Hello there. Just stopping by to have a break...
People, I am telling you, there is one thing, unfortunately, that can not turn virtual...Do you guess. Come on !...We can never have an e-moving ;_; coz, moving is simply a real, boring, tiring and hectic task >___<...It is the only thing I wish I could do through sitting before my computer and simply type some characters and houurra it's done, it's over. No, no, no, no, big girl, that is a dream, and a stupid one >__<
Just wake up and go back finish the cleaning.
Ohhhhhhh e-friends, here and there, how I am exhausted >___________< !!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRR. I try to enjoy it, but it simply ain't enjoyable.
Does anyone have fun when moving...alone?
?_?
I grant some benefit of the doubt to those who enjoy packing/unpacking together or in a group. Indeed, dividing the tasks...helps conquer the moving **/.
Enough now, please write back, cheer me up, ALLEZ, ALLEZ, ALLEZ, go, go, go, La copa de la vida . loooool. Hehehe, Yes, I usually enjoy break times and do my best to have them enjoyable. The more one smiles, the more one could face "troubles"..as in "hikkoshiiii" da nightmare :). ok, let me see it with a new eye **: hikkoshi "es competicion"...Now, that is a motivation ;)

See you guys in a while. I am determined to get over with it TODAY !

hikkoshi soap opera

2006-04-26T21:14:00.000+09:00

u wanna hear a joke??
well my moving isn't over yet !!!!! >___________________<
I won't discuss about it cauz it is already bothering me ENOUGH . Saying more would exasperate me more than you might imagine and I don't wanna change moods right now. I am cool :) and I want to remain cool before going to bed.
So just that you know...

I have so many stories to tell that I don't know how to start and I freez to the idea of the ammount of time and caracters I am going to type and spend...

Anyway, I hate Packing/ Unpacking. If there is one thing in life that I might be phobic about it would be "hikkoshi". so yes I am a "hikkoshiphobic" >__<.

Honestly, I even panic sometimes when I have to pack/unpack. My ex-roomate used to help me do my bag when I am traveling. She was nice. I just hate it. It is so disturbing. Grrrrr. This is one thing I want my husband to fully take in charge...unless he as well would be a hikkoshiphobic in which case we could undergo a therapy together. hehehehe. ^^. kidding.
okey dokey. I should continue my "packing"...I mean resume my nightmare...

Test test

2006-04-25T01:29:00.000+09:00

"7awwel."

am I the only one to have troubles with blogging today or is it a general state >__<

Anyway, "sah, sah", "will the real Slim Shady please stand up ".

lol.

Let's now see if the test would appear ...
Tadaaaaa. ^^/

Frustrating...!

2006-04-24T22:53:00.000+09:00

GRRRR
This is tooo much...
Recently many events were occuring and still are, in my surrounding that make me wanna SCREEEEEAAAM. For the first time I feel liking that song of MJ. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Many things are frustrating, if I have enough time, I will get back to them in details, right now if I will recall them I'll get IRRITATED.
:/
..... Kinda disgusted So what does it mean ......... The whole system sucks ....Peek in the shadow... Come into the light ...You tell me I'm wrong... Then you better prove you're right ...You're sellin' out souls ...but I care about mine ...I've got to get stronger ...And I won't give up the fight ....With such confusions.... Don't it make you wanna scream ...Stop pressurin' me Just stop pressurin' me Stop pressurin' me ...Make me wanna scream.... Stop pressurin' me Just stop pressurin' me Stop pressurin' me Make you just wanna scream ....Tired of you tellin' the story your way ...It's causin' confusion ...You think it's okay .... Keep changin' the rules While you're playin' the game... I can't take it much longer ...I think I might go insane.... With such confusion Don't it make you wanna scream ...I just can't take it ...Stop pressurin' me ...Just stop pressurin' me ...Stop pressurin' me ...Make me wanna scream!

Cool ^^/ it feels better after one screams out his/her anger . oof

My Radio Blog

2006-04-22T00:28:00.000+09:00

Hurraaa.
Now you can enjoy music on my blog.
A big variety, I promise.
Don't forget to scroll down the radio selection...and check the tracks.
I am loving the current one....it brings me back to my childhood.
"Bashar ya Bashar...Sasuki, Sasuki, Jambul Jabbar :D..."
:)
Thanks zemeken for these good memories...

Selection process

2006-04-16T21:57:00.000+09:00

How do you do if you've got too many options to chose from?
How do you set your priorities?
:(
I feel tired to take a decision.
It sometimes is very hard to decide.

>_________<

Hekma ruwandya

2006-04-14T01:19:00.000+09:00

'You can outdistance that which is running behind you,
but not that which is running inside you.'
             - Rwandan Proverb -

Tagged by a h m a d AGAIN

2006-04-08T23:12:00.000+09:00

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
さようなら。

(Am hilarious about this one. I did not expect either the question or the line lol. For those who won't be able to read it it says: "Sayonara" which means "goodbye")

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
I can reach the camel. ( a puppet, people relax lol). You know it sings "Sidi Mansour Too ^^/".

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I was at the dentist today and while waiting, the TV was on. There's kind of star contest for Adult Nihonjin. They were performing a dancing -Epreuve-. I needed to get distracted from the anxiety of being simply at the dentist. How I >___________< them ....

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
11 PM

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
11:19 PM

:), ^^/ **/. lol. " I know..."mezzel ki t3adda"...?_?

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The wind blowing strongly...VERY >___<.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This evening. I was teaching.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My emails.

9. What are you wearing?
clothes. lol. winter clothes looooooool.

10. Did you dream last night?
donno. can't really recall right now. I could tell you tomorrow about tonight's ^^.

11. When did you last laugh?
few seconds ago when I read the question about the dreaming. lol.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Calender. Basin-mirror.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
yes. the TV program I've described earlier ^^).

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Funny. Entertaining.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Can't remember but the last thing I've watched is an ER episode.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
only overnight?? Mmm. if so I can't actually buy anything unless it's online and preferably from a country that would have daylight ^-^. I would buy whatever comes to my mind when I became multi$$$$ :))

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
Ahmad said "Well... I hate wearing formal clothes. :). " Well, I hate that too ;).
Here is something else you dunno: there are many many many things u dunno about me;ou know ^^ ?!.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would make money "not exist" :).

19. Do you like to dance?
may be somtimes in my room and no one is watching :)

20. George Bush.
W.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Rania or Rana

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Nader or Rayan.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I am currently living abroad.

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
// What are the pearly gates?

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
:) General Purpose, Sir "Sapere Aude " ^^, Noblese, apy.

tagged by ahmad

2006-04-08T00:31:00.000+09:00

Well he tagged everyone :), so here we go:

** Place an X by all the things you've done. This is for your entire life:

( ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed a friend's car
( ) Stolen a car
( ) Been in love
( ) Been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( ) Quit your job
( ) Been in a fist fight
( ) Snuck out of your parent's house
( ) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested (because I was not carrying my draft service papers. *smile*)
( ) Gone on a blind date
( ) Lied to a friend
( ) Skipped school
(X) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Swam in the ocean
( ) Felt like dying
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently coloured your hair
( ) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) Made prank phone calls
() Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
( ) Gone roller-skating
(X) Ice-skating

Thanks ahmad ;).

I, too, tag EVERYONE ^^/

Quizz Time

2006-04-08T00:01:00.000+09:00

It's fine time today for you my guests stopping by my blog :)
So, here is a nice test to check your eyesight.
First go to this page (it is full of quizzzz, I know you will end up all day fooling around lol)
Tests
Then within that page, scroll down and click on the icon that has the label "Très Sérieux " and the following icon:

Then, click on DALTONISME ( game number 9) . The game is in English and play :)

I can't wait for your feedback ^^/

Hikkoshi

2006-04-05T21:17:00.000+09:00

"hikkoshi" is the Japanese for "demenagement" (moving to a new place).
I hate hikkoshis.. >__<
It stresses me out and I do not enjoy it.
I dislike packing an unpacking....alone >________<
I was procrastinating about it all day...
Ok, enough, gotta resume my boring activity..
Please cheer me up. Your comments are most welcome.
Thanks in advance :)

Almost there

2006-04-03T17:46:00.000+09:00

I am almost done with my PhD. I just fulfilled another requirement last week and what is left should be less than what is gone, hopefully...INSHALLAH.
I am sooo exhausted. It was a hecktic week. Now I have to move to a new house >__< and start a new part-time ( actually it is a full time) job as an assistant language teacher and study at the same time. too many things to cope with. Schools resume this Friday or next week dependingly, in Nihon. ... AND I got these molar problems to deal with as well. this is the part I hate the most: Dentists, with all due respect, to all the nice dentists community out there ^^/ It's just that I can't help it: YOU SCARE ME, or shall I say, you scare the hell out of my teeth. -_-.
Anyway, this is a short notice to let my "fans" know that I still inhale and exhale ^^.
Byebye for now. Gotta clean the house before moving in. Yeah usually the landlord provides that service but we gotta pay an extra-fee for the rent in such case, mine prefers that I handle everything and won't tax on the rent. Not a bad deal actually. It is the cheapest rent I've found so far. I'm glad about it though the house is a bit old...but we can't have it all perfect: new house+cheap rent+good location. Fair enough that I end ed up with the 2/3 of the equation ;)
Now see you later.
Gaijin.